One of the first things you learn when you begin to fish is that “fish math” is different from the math you learned in school. It’s confusing at first, but once you learn the basics, it’s quite simple. “Fish math” has two rules. The first rule is - that the number of fish caught is usually greater than the ones netted. And the second rule - the size of the fish is always larger than its actual measurement. The best thing about “fish math” is that there are no wrong answers. Better yet, the answer can change each time you tell the story. Below are a few examples that might help you better understand “fish math.”
Newly : How big was the fish?
Me : About this long!
Newly : No, I mean how many inches?
Me : I don’t know. I never carry a tape measure when I’m fishing.
Fishound : How many did you catch?
Me : A lot!
Fishound : Just give me a number?
Me : I lost count after forty-five or so.
Shane1980 : How long was the fish?
Me : About four feet.
Shane1980 : How do you know cause you don’t carry a tape when fishin’?
Me : That’s about the height my boy was when I caught it and it was bigger than he was.
Macrappie : How much did the big one weigh?
Me : Three or Four pounds.
Macrappie : Did you weigh it?
Me : No, but the picture weighed two pounds.
Clod : Did you count the fish?
Me : Yes, I counted the eyes and multiplied by two.
Clod : Shouldn’t you have divided by two?
Me : Not if you want an accurate count.
My Buddy “Catoe” : Do you remember the fishing trip on the pier when we caught so many fish?
Me : Yes.
My Buddy “Catoe” : How many did we catch?
Me : I don’t remember, but we ran out of bait.
Game Warden : How many fish does it take to make 20 which is your limit?
Me : That depends on who is counting.
Game Warden :I need to see your fishing license and ID!!
Wife : Did you catch any fish?
Me : Yes
Wife : How many?
Me : Twenty, if you count the ones that got away and the ones that didn’t bite!
Me :“I started the day with no fish and I still have plenty left.”
Guy at the ramp : What kind of math is that?
Me : Fish math!
Me : If twelve minnows equal a dozen, how many are in a pound?
Hill’s Minnow Farm Clerk : Who knows? Maybe 4 or 5 dozen…
Me : Hey that’s Fish Math!!
See it’s fun and everyone can do it. It’s not a lie, it’s Fish Math!!! Here is the first FACT of this article------ A bad day fishing is always better than a good day at work!! It’s always fun to fish with buddies and family but it’s the memories that count and last a lifetime. No I don’t catch the biggest fish, nor do I catch the most but I sure have a good time trying, and telling my stories to my friends. I have always said what my dad always said to me…“Keep those kids on the river or in the woods and you will keep them off the streets and out of jail”, and that is the Second fact of this article. Take a kid fishing, it’s a memory that will last you a lifetime, and hey maybe you will learn something from him/her or maybe they will learn something from you. In closing I want you to Try it, Can you do FISH MATH TOO??? Lighten up and have a good time for once and worry about bills and all our problems tomorrow. Tell your kids and your wife and family you love them and be thankful for what we have today because it may be gone tomorrow.
